


In My Thoughts, Always

by Amy326



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-11 10:11:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amy326/pseuds/Amy326
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>M for a reason, warnings inside. Reviews welcome. A darker, more adult Big Bang Theory. What Sheldon Cooper wants, he gets, and he will get Penny. No matter what anybody says, including her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

First and foremost I want to thank MyOwnStar for her help with this fic, I plan on this being a long term fic and I hope for her to be my editor if she will have me lol if I get favorable reviews and even if I don't I may finish anyway as this is something I wanted to get out.

WARNINGS: This is an M fic for a reason and WILL include many subjects others may find upsetting or offputting. Such as: disturbing thoughts, sexual situations(both imagined and real), these will definitely be involved in the fic other warnings will be posted as they happen. PLEASE DO NOT read if you believe this will upset you if you do I will not take your flames to heart as this is my warning to you to STOP READING NOW! If you have constructive reviews and criticisms I will be more than happy to speak with you about them. Thank you.

I OWN NOTHING, sadly :(

Italics are flashbacks

S-POV

He hated the sweats she wore, the maroon shirt that hung loosely on her body and the cropped pants that showed less of her legs than he would have liked. He sighed lightly to himself, pouring a drink as he looked away from her. As much as he may rant about her 'slutty tops' and the 'indecent' clothes she wore, he enjoyed them all the same. As long as he was the only one viewing her in them.

It really didn't matter what she wore though. Every curve of her body was etched into his memory from the very first day they'd met, thanks to his eidetic memory: she'd worn very short denim shorts and a light t-shirt that showed off her stomach a bit. The same kind of clothes the girls back home used to wear back before he'd gone off to college at 12. He'd rarely experienced such a sudden increase in his libido the way he had that day.

He put the cranberry juice back in the refrigerator.

"Hey, Sheldon," Penny happily chirped closing the door behind her.

"Hello, Penny."

"How's it going?" She was casual as she walked up to the couch, plopping down dangerously close to his spot.

Sheldon suppressed a smirk. He was sure she did not do this intentionally but it always caused him to graze up against her when he finally would sit down, which would then cause her to realize that she was way too close to him. She would back off, knowing his perceived personal space boundaries and apologize (if only to not have to listen to the rant that she thought would ensue if she didn't) Otherwise she would just stay in the same place, believing she was pushing his buttons, and laugh at his 'discomfort'.

He knew that if he had gotten her used to moving upon the slightest of interactions or signals, he could someday get her closer to him through the same means. Not like conditioning her through chocolates, like he'd once done when she first started dating Leonard. No, this was more a paradigm shift in her perception of him. She would get there. He would make sure of it. He would guide her, and she couldn't have a better teacher in his mind.

His steps always appeared graceful when he strolled in the direction of people, but it was more a self-taught control of his movements. As a child, he was so pent up with intelligent energy, buzzing with the need to try new things and experiment with the world around him, that one of the doctors his mother had gone to actually suggested Ritalin for his seemingly endless energy. It wasn't until he was tested to see if he "was crazy" that anyone realized he was crazy…crazy smart. His intelligence was beyond measure, and not only was he enrolled in a variety of advanced classes and higher grades, he was also provided lessons on how to suppress his nervous energy and, well, harness it.

The result was a controlled, steady, almost diabolical Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

But the energy was starting up again; that energy he found caused his fingers to twitch and his mind to zoom with the need to scratch an exploratory itch, an itch named Penny.

Smiling sweetly at him, Penny asked, "Where's Leonard?"

"Dropping off a package at the post office." Sheldon sat his drink down on the table before him, looked at Penny briefly then at the TV. The Discovery Channel was on. When he sat down, he realized she had already moved with no opportunity for him to 'accidentally' graze against her. This disappointed him, thus causing him to be short with his answer to her next inquiry.

"Oh." She sat back. "What's he shipping?"

"I didn't ask," he snapped shortly, his frustration with Penny not moving from the topic of Leonard starting to slip through.

"Why?"

He gave her a blank look that somehow conveyed pointedly. "Because I don't care." But what she didn't catch was the finished thought that flashed uncontrollably across his face, "And neither should you."

"Oh." Penny licked her lips and looked away. "I would have asked."

"That's the difference between you and I, Penny," Sheldon said, picking up the remote control. "You are consistently in the business of others, while my focus is on the more pressing issues of the day. Maybe if you focused more on yourself, you could be as productive as I." He smugly glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. With this glance he didn't miss the glare she was giving him.

"Like what video game to play? Or what new comic book to buy?"

Sheldon looked down at her, his lips curling into a tiny smile. "Precisely."

She couldn't help but return the smile as she rolled her eyes. He did that sometimes—made her smile. Often it was unintentional, but he liked to push her buttons and see where she found amusement or spark: the better to gauge and manipulate any situation that presented himself concerning Penny. He found talking about her personality and quirks like this elicited a feistier side to her, which he hoped would manifest into a titillating tension (perhaps, sexual tension). He likened her reactions to a chemistry experiment, add an ingredient and get a reaction, add a different ingredient get a different reaction. He liked comparing Penny to science—combining his two favorite things.

He noticed that the one thing that lacked between her and Leonard was that tension. The friction of battle, and the sparking of wits. He secretly shivered every time he was able to create this interaction with her when Leonard was around; it made him feel naughty, like a boy fooling around with a girl underneath a blanket in front of his mother. A situation he had never had either the urge or need to be in before he'd met Penny.

He wasn't sure what excited him more: Penny's sassy attitude towards him that he intentionally drew out of her, or Leonard's pouty, almost angry reaction to being ignored by her. Leonard was a bad friend, as was revealed during their arduous Arctic sojourn, thus Sheldon felt no remorse for these feelings towards his 'best friend. '

She got up from her spot next to him, after a couple minutes of silence had passed, and breezed past his white board to the fridge to raid it for her own drink.

His hand leaned against the edge of his whiteboard as he looked down at this new girl who was standing, impressed, before his work. She'd asked him if he was one of those "beautiful mind, genius guys."

"Yea," he responded, almost breathless as his heart beat a little heavier in his chest. At first he believed himself to be developing an arrhythmia. Leonard, of course, tried to regain Penny's attention but she was already grabbed by Sheldon's.

He'd noticed the way her eyes visually groped his appearance and the slight roam she gave to his tall form as he spoke. He immediately imaged her small hands following the trail her eyes had made over him, but brushed it away almost as quickly as it came. That pathway of thought at this time could only lead to embarrassing situations and he didn't need that in front of Leonard.

When she sat in 'his spot,' he'd almost lost it, but not because she was sitting on his favorite couch cushion as Leonard believed. It was because of all the spots in all the room, she'd chosen his. When she'd offered a seat next to her for him to sit, he'd more than happily have taken it but the new thoughts running through his head violated what he considered good judgment and self control. So, he didn't. He went back to his safety net of ranting about 'his spot', as the new sensations that were bombarding him were slightly frightening to him.

He would later use this scenario in his mind's eye repeatedly, with the element of Leonard having been removed, to play out various scenes. One scenario would be Sheldon easing his way onto Penny, startling the new tenant and rendering her speechless as he ravaged her body. Her fear an added aphrodisiac to his otherwise heightened senses; he could imagine her smell, her pheromones wafting toward him. Begging him to mate with her, be her man. And he would in this scenario. He would be the Alpha. Another scenario would be her getting up from the spot, apologetic, and perhaps so much so that she would make her own 'amends' with her new neighbor… in order to keep the peace of course, because she was sweet and neighborly that way. Only with him though, as she was HIS neighbor. The variety of story lines that were played out served Sheldon well when he was alone in bed or in the shower. 

As she walked past his white board again, giving it a glance, she took a seat in the small chair next to the kitchen, to his unseen disappointment. She held a soda in her hands. She crossed her legs and popped the drink open, a loud hiss sounding in the air.

"What're the plans for tonight?" she asked casually, taking a sip from her drink.

Sheldon's gaze was mild as he responded. "Will you be joining us?"

"Depends on what's going on," she egged.

He sighed. "I don't know about Leonard, but I will be watching the Director's Cut edition of Lord of the Rings."

"Ah…." Penny looked interested. "Is that the one with that hot Aragorn guy in it?" She grinned at Sheldon knowing he would be upset with her flippant remark about the movie.

Sheldon looked perturbed with her casual description of the great movie. "Yes, I believe it is, Penny. Does this influence your decision to join us?" He asked shortly (shortly for Sheldon that is).

She laughed lightly as she shook her head, turning to the TV. "I will never understand you, Sheldon."

You will someday, he thought. I'll make sure you understand everything. "Do you even try?"

She didn't realize how caring and sappy her following comment sounded until it had already escaped her lips, "More than you know, Moonpie." This statement surprised and pleased Sheldon greatly, but all he did to show this pleasure was smile in a slightly goofy way in the opposite direction from where she was seated as to not be observed.

The door opened ad Leonard walked in, instantly smiling at the sight of Penny in the room. "Hey!"

"Hey," Penny responded with a wave. "Heard you were at the post office."

"Yeah. Had to ship my mother some of the books she left here last time."

Penny nodded, giving Sheldon a smug look of victory. Sheldon conceded, she might be nosy but she got the information she wanted.

L-POV

Leonard always loved when she wore those loose fitting sweatshirts. Now, of course he adored the scanty outfits she wore—what man wouldn't? But it was something about the way the fabric hung on her skin, like a present that begged for him to slide his hands underneath and discover.

She failed to notice him undressing her with his eyes as he strolled past her, watching her hang a leg over the arm of the seat she was in. He walked to his bedroom, guarding his parcel from prying eyes, and dropped off something he had picked up on his way back. It was actually a series of adult themed Japanese manga that he promised himself he would buy without Sheldon present. This was primarily because the feature woman in the graphic novel looked a lot like what he considered Penny would look like if she were drawn as anime, and didn't want to hear Sheldon's droning about how unrealistic his expectations of being with Penny were as he had done many times in the past. Even if Leonard wasn't with Penny anymore, he would at least have his comic book of her.

Besides, he'd managed to win her heart at one point. He would do it again. It was his primary goal sometimes: to get her attention. And it must be working, because she is always coming over to hang out. He couldn't go back to being alone, not when he had had someone like Penny in his life, someone who was actually starting to gain some interest in the things he liked: a hot chick with nerd undertones. Nothing was more ideal to him.

Stepping out the room, he overheard Sheldon lecturing Penny on the animal that was featured on the TV show they were watching. Leonard inwardly groaned, hating the sound of Sheldon's voice sometimes, it just never seemed to stop and it seemed even worse when Penny was around. His voice constantly interrupted Leonard and drew Penny's attention to him, and if it was anyone else he would be upset, believing them to want Penny all for themselves. However, this was Sheldon; he didn't have a deal like normal guys. He walked past Penny again, making sure to graze the leg sticking out from the chair with a feather light touch as he did so. She smiled at him uncomfortably and shifted her leg away. Leonard didn't notice Sheldon's narrowed eyes or clenched fists on his knees, despite his pleasure over Penny's response to the unsolicited contact Leonard gave her, Sheldon did not appreciate Leonard's forward manner towards Penny. Penny was oblivious to Sheldon's reaction all saw was Leonard leering at her.

"So, what brings you here, Penny?" Leonard asked as he sat down in his own chair across from Penny. Separated by the coffee table with Sheldon in his spot, they almost created a perfect triangle Leonard noticed absently.

P-POV

She shrugged. "Apparently we are viewing the Director's Cut of the Lord of the Rings, isn't that right Moonpie?" Penny grinned at Sheldon, impishly, as she mimicked his exact words and tone from earlier.

She loved pushing Sheldon's buttons on a normal basis and now was no exception. Penny was not dumb, naive maybe—and attractive always—but Penny was a lot smarter than most people, especially men gave her credit for—especially for having failed out of community college as Sheldon so often liked to bring up. She knew how to observe others and use what she learned to her advantage. For instance, she'd observed the quickest way to rile Sheldon up was to refer to him as "Moonpie." For Leonard it was to bring up his insecurities, which were plentiful and numerous. As far as Howard was concerned, it was his 'abilites' with women, and Raj, well, she just had to be present, although she thought Raj was adorable and wished she could help him get over his problem without alcohol.

Sheldon looked at her and said his famous line, "Penny, only Meemaw calls me Moonpie."

What really got Sheldon's feathers ruffled was when she said the line at the exact same time and way he did, rolling her eyes as she mimicked him.

She laughed out loud at their interaction and likened it to two hens pecking at each other, and given her Nebraskan upbringing, she could appreciate the analogy. She knew if she said it out loud Sheldon would have a conniption fit as she was aware of his dislike for chickens. What she was unaware of, however, was the blush of happiness that lit her face up during this interaction, or the reaction of those present to said blush.

She knew Leonard was observing their interaction and was pouting over it as he always did. She sighed audibly and went to soothe his ruffled feathers, giggling inwardly at the feathers thought after her previous chicken analogy. She was just about to say something to Leonard, when they could hear Howard and Raj arguing so loudly in the hall over who was a better match for Bella from Twilight, Edward or Jacob, that they heard them through the walls. Raj, stopping in the middle of his argument of siding with team Jacob on this one, said, "Us brown people have to stick together!" As soon as he saw Penny in the room, he halted abruptly. Behind him, Howard counter that ,"Vampires always get the girl!" He too halted, almost running right into his friend. Both blushed at the looks they received from the three previous occupants in the room and scurried to their seats.

Penny could tell from the red faces and hunched positions that they were praying someone would say something to draw attention away from the very unmanly things they were just discussing, so she showed mercy, for Raj's sake at least. Howard could fry in his own pervertedness for all she cared.

"So, who wants to see Viggo Mortenson defeat Sauron!"

The horror that dawned on Sheldon and Leonard's faces at her utterly ridiculous comment was totally worth the idiocy she knew she had just spewed forth into the abyss.

Thus, with being the impulsive creature she was, she threw her head back and laughed.

REVIEWS WELCOME, FLAMES MAKE S'MORES!


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter is all Sheldon POV, but it also 80% flashback, I don't know if I got the star date correct, if anyone knows if this is correct or can point me int he correct direction to a converter let me know as I may plan to have some more chapters in this format later in the fic. Thanks! As always reviews are welcome!

Hope you enjoy!

I OWN NOTHING, sadly :(

Italics are flashbacks 

Chapter 2

S-POV

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 04:57:14 UTC

Star Date: -311068.87

I am Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper Ph.D., and I have a set schedule for almost everything. I use the term 'almost' for only one aspect of my life. Penny. She bursts through my schedule like a force of nature, a hurricane, typhoon, monsoon, whatever you want to call it. Hurricane Penny was definitely destructive and seemed to exist to push me to the limits of self control in all areas of my existence.

I have observed and been affected by her reign of chaos for the last 5 years now.

The fact of the matter is, I cannot lie. I don't even like to lie, even though it seems that all of my friends at one point or another ask me to. You would have thought they would have learned by now not to. As I have admitted to the aforementioned 'flaws' of not being able to lie (others, read Leonard's, opinions not mine), I have also admitted this to myself as well.

The lie I cannot tell myself is that I do not enjoy Penny's special brand of chaos.

Because I do.

Contrary to what most people believe about my schedule, it is not a compulsion that prompts me to be so adamant about this bit of stability. It is that I am a scientist, a physicist, and as I stated to Penny during our prank war, "When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible." Knowing and believing that anything is possible is a thrilling and terrifying concept that I study and try to pin down every day. I have to have some form of stability, and here formed my schedule. I did not have the schedule as a child, I did not need it. I was not informed of the innate chaos that permeates our world at that time as I am now, but with my insatiable need for knowledge and my love for physics I learned quickly, as always.

As I sit here, on my bed, logging all of this in my interaction journal on a Tuesday after work before we head to The Cheesecake Factory, I smile. Penny is the chaos that I am constantly trying to tame and make stable, but I can admit that a part of me likes the challenge she provides. Too few things challenge me anymore and people are so predictable. Even if they baffle me, they are more predictable than they like to believe themselves. Not Penny. Classifying her continues to elude me as much as ever, and I enjoy it as much as it frustrates me.

She was made for me, chaos to my stability, irrational to my rational, beauty to my nerd. She even enjoys the same things as me: Pranking, Halo, Soft Kitty, Paintball, etcetera.

The reason I am writing this as opposed to my daily interactions as always, another bit of chaos she had injected into my life I muse, is simple. I will elaborate. The events occurred at lunchtime at work this afternoon.

Lunch is always a trying affair with Howard Wolowitz around. Between his uncouth remarks about various women he will never have a snowball's chance in a cat scanner with, and his constant complaining about his mother, he is a regular joy to be around over all. Hey! I am getting better at sarcasm.

"So, I was sitting there, real cool and suave like, and this totally hot brunette walks up to me and says, 'Howard, I want you' and I was like, 'Well, right here I am sweet thing'."

"And I am Shiva, god of death and destruction." Raj sighs while looking at the ceiling in apparent exasperation. "Why do you insist upon telling these fancy tales, when you know we know they are not true, Howard?"

"Because I am a sad, sad little man." Howard sighs as well, and poked at his food sullenly. "What about you Leonard? Got anything juicy to share with the class? You are our resident Casanova after all," he asks with a leer towards the bespectacled man.

I sit my glass down on the table with an extra bit of force behind it on purpose in order to grab the attention of the three men I am sitting with. 

"How is Leonard anything like an Italian author, and famous womanizer who was associated with European royalty along with luminaries such as Voltaire, Goethe and Mozart?" I look at Howard with a raised eyebrow to convey my genuine curiosity and simultaneous disdain for this comparison. I know why Howard made the comparison; I just want to hear his explanation in his own words.

Howard pulls out his smarmy little smirk and replies, "Well he is the one who got to nail the illustrious Miss Penny, is he not? Knelt between the knees of the promised land. I believe that alone is enough for the label, huh? Right Raj?"

Raj raises his hands and says hurriedly, "Hey man, I like Penny, she's nice, and she doesn't make fun of me for my selective mutism. She even stands up for us!" At his defense of my Penny, I decide to mentally revoke one of Raj's strikes, and I add two more to Howard for his crass words about my lady.

Raj is right, and I remember what he is referring to. That terrible Zarnecki and his thieving ways. I scowl as my eidetic memory pulls up the time that Glenn was in someone else's possession for so long, and my stuff, over three thousand hours worth of gold and weapons. One thief, one high school student with an overactive thyroid gland almost managed to take all my stuff, but thanks to Penny, Glenn the ostrich is safely back in his pen and I am still questing with the best of them. I do not like people touching my things, even virtually.

Leonard finally decides to provide his commentary to the conversation. "Come on Howard, don't be like that, Raj is right. Penny is a good person and she helps us all the time. She isn't a piece of meat. Plus, I hope, eventually, to get her back. She just has to see that I am the perfect man for her and then we can start making our beautiful, smart babies," he says tilting his head back in that way he does that exposes his throat to the others of the table. 

I have always theorized that he does this as a habitual tool from being so short and having to look up at others all the time, but he does the same thing with Howard who is at least 1 and 1 half inches shorter than he is. Psychology may be a hokum science for the most part but I believe it has a basis in this behavior for Leonard. I have observed that when he is trying to be superior or more knowledgeable on a subject he displays this behavior, indicating, nonverbally, that he is looking (or trying to look) down at the person he is speaking to. Really though, if you know anything about animal behavior, and I do, because I have a working knowledge of the universe, it is that when an animal, a wolf, or dog, for example, is trying to show submission they bare their throats as a way of showing their Omega status. Leonard unconsciously does this because he is an Omega playing at being an Alpha. I know that this is only one of the many reasons he is not the perfect man for Penny.

She is an Alpha female, she needs a partner and mate, not a subordinate. I know what she needs.

"This subject is tiresome, gentlemen, as you getting Penny back, is not as likely as you believe it to be Leonard, and Howard you have a disrespectful attitude towards women, and while I normally do not care to let you spin your little Penthouse fantasies, because frankly, I barely listen to you as it is, but," and I point my plastic spork as emphasis this following point, "if I hear you disrespect Penny again, you will not care for the consequences." With this suitable chastisement offered I turn back to my food and continue eating, not looking at those around me.

What I chose to ignore as I turned my attention elsewhere, were the looks of bewilderment and shock on the faces of the three men around me. Perhaps the looks were in response to my aggressive handling of the Penny situation. It is Howard who finally broke the brief silence.

"You know what Penthouse is! How do you know what Penthouse is?" Howard screeches out.

I am quite bothered by the decibels he reaches with this question as I have superior hearing anyway and he is sitting within two foot distance. Not to mention there are others looking at us in confusion for them overhearing Howard's statement with no context. Not that I feel the need to provide them with any. I just look back at them until they look away.

"Howard, be quiet!" Leonard whispered quickly, blushing. He responds for me as I am not going to respond to Howard's inane questions. "He was cleaning the apartment one time and he found my, um, my collection. Ok? Now be quiet!"

Howard is practically bouncing in his seat, staring at me with a slightly manic gleam in his eye. "So how did you like them, Sheldon? I personally like the one with the..." I interrupt him before he can go any further.

"Stop. Now. Howard. I will not listen to your nasty thoughts, and I very much doubt that Raj or Leonard will find them very appetizing either." I look at them and they both look slightly green at the thought of what was about to come out of Howard's mouth, and they sigh almost simultaneously at my interruption of what would have probably proven to be a tale most foul.

Lunch continues on with a pouting Howard and a daydreaming Leonard. Raj and I discuss our upcoming research paper that, if done correctly, could obtain a sizeable research grant. I want that grant; it could be great tool in helping me acquire new equipment to prove string theory and thus winning my Nobel Prize.

After lunch, I perceive time to pass quickly as Raj and I are uninterrupted in our work and we get a great deal of research finished before work ends.

As I head home with Leonard I can't stop thinking about one of the Penthouse magazines that had been mentioned. What Leonard didn't know was that I had confiscated one of those magazines, one with a woman inside that looked just enough like Penny to be upsetting to me. I have always found those publications to be crass and in poor taste and below one such as I. I had found a Playboy in my brother, George's room when I had been looking for a part of my death ray he had stolen. I found the images intriguing in a purely analytical way, as I had never seen a naked female before except for Missy, but she is my sister and we had been nude in the same room since the last time we were bathed together.

It upset me that Leonard had very obviously purchased a 'dirty' magazine that had a Penny look-a-like in it for his own pleasure. It made me sick, and angry. It made me want to hurt Leonard for being so disrespectful and pathetic. I hold and control these feelings, tightly to my chest. Now is not the time to allow reign to these more negative aspects of myself, aspects no one else knows of. I know that there is a right time to release these feelings and now is not that time, so I breathe deep and exhale slowly to calm myself. I direct my mind away from the troubling thoughts.

The drive ends as we pull into our parking garage and Leonard turns off the vehicle. He turns to me and says, "I know you have been quiet for a while, is it what Howard said at lunch? Because you know how he can be. He's a pervert, but he's our friend." Leonard looks at me then I sigh at Leonard's words. I wasn't quiet because of Howard's comments, those were commonplace and slightly expected, if not dreaded, at this point. If Leonard knew what thoughts had kept me quiet, he'd pass out and then how would he drive me to The Cheesecake Factory later for my barbecue bacon cheeseburger: barbecue, bacon, and cheese on the side.

"What makes you believe that I am quiet over Howard's words, Leonard?" I ask inquiringly.

"Well, I just assumed—" Leonard began.

I interrupt him and say, "That's your problem Leonard, you assume too much. Now let's go inside. I need to finish some research for my paper before we go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner."

"Ok..." Leonard trails off uncertainly.

End Log.

"Sheldon! Come on! We are meeting Raj and Howard at the restaurant in 20 minutes!" Leonard yells through the door, quite unnecessarily I might add.

"Leonard I am right inside the door separated by an inch of wood and 6 feet of space. I can hear you just fine," I say as I put away my interaction journal and straighten my favorite Flash t-shirt. I want to look nice for Penny.

I plan on this being a long term fic....if I get favorable reviews..... and even if I don't I may finish anyway as this is something I wanted to get out.

WARNINGS: This is an M fic for a reason and WILL include many subjects others may find upsetting or offputting. Such as: disturbing thoughts, sexual situations(both imagined and real), these will definitely be involved in the fic other warnings will be posted as they happen. PLEASE DO NOT read if you believe this will upset you if you do I will not take your flames to heart as this is my warning to you to STOP READING NOW! If you have constructive reviews and criticisms I will be more than happy to speak with you about them. Thank you.


	3. Chapter 3

If you have any questions, opinions or comments I am more than happy to hear them. As long as they are done in a respectful manner though.

Chapter 3

P-POV

"So Penny, how was that audition this morning?"

I look over at Anna who is counting her tip from the last table.

Anna is a lovely twenty four year brunette, and quite demure, as long as she didn't have any alcohol in her and then all bets were off.

I knew this from personal experience at a club two weeks ago. Whew. That was a night I won't be repeating for a while. The first night I had been out partying in a while and I spent more time taking care of her crazy drunk ass then I did dancing.

Even worse were the guys who I had to protect her from who seemed to gravitate towards her during this drunkenness. I sigh as I realize that my four geniuses have spoiled me for most other men; I just look at 'normal' guys and realize how ordinary and boring they are.

"You know, I think it went really well. In fact, I think they'll be calling me back any day now. I mean how could they not?" I laugh as I say this and strike a ridiculous pose.

"Really? That's so great Penny! I'm so happy for you! Do you really think so?" Anna sounds enthused, quite genuinely happy for me. If it was almost anybody else at this hell hole they would be saying the same thing to my face but as soon as my back was turned, whoo boy, they would be on a one way trip to bitch city.

As it is though that audition did go really well, and I am excited to think that I really might get a call back soon.

Anna was relatively new, only working here for a little over 2 months, to our little Cheesecake Factory family, but she had been here long enough to know who our regulars were.

"Uh-oh...crazy hamburger guy and cronies at 5 o'clock."

I look behind me as I hear Anna moan the complaint lowly while she is looking over my shoulder. I see Sheldon leading the charge toward their usual table, followed like a mother duck leading her babies in order, Leonard, Howard, and Raj. It makes me smile to see the familiar sight. It's a comfort to know that some things never change.

On the first Tuesday she had worked, she was informed in great detail of who belonged to that table by 'Crazy Hamburger Guy' himself, after she had tried to wait their table while Penny was in the bathroom. Ever since then, she had avoided that table if she could, stating that there just 'wasn't somethin' right 'bout that boy'.

Oh, did I forget to mention that Anna was from West Virginia and has an accent that only the south could provide. She's barely understandable when drunk, sounding a little like Sheldon when he's angry, all twang and southern warmth pouring off of every word.

They are being seated, and so, before Sheldon can start looking around for me I head for their table. His order is already written down on the pad in my hands, as if I could forget, barbecue bacon cheeseburger all the amenities on the side. It's the others whose orders change from time to time.

As I am walking to their table I overhear the guys arguing about some Star Trek episode or something, but it's getting Sheldon pretty heated as he throws his hands in the air and his voice raises. I decide to intervene before things escalate any further.

"Hey guys!" I chirp, my happiness from my audition bleeding over into being glad to see them all, even Howard and that's saying something about being in a good mood, and that thought makes me smile even more.

"Well, Penny, you seem to be in a particularly cheerful manner. What has you so happy today?" Sheldon asks, looking up at me, strangely enough looking actually interested. Weird, it seems he's been doing that a lot lately, being interested in things about me. I'm not really used to him seeming to be all caring and interested in anyone other than himself, but I am on such a high from this morning that I don't question it too much. I shrug and just chalk it up to another bag of crazy known as Sheldon Cooper.

"Yeah, you look really good today! What's up? Good tips today?" It speaks. I cringe inwardly at the very sound of Howard's voice. Well, there goes my good mood.

"Howard, shut up, and for your information I went to an audition today and I believe it went really well." I want to go on and say what a little shit he is and shove his face into a wood chipper, but I can't because he's my friend, well he's my friend's friend, which inadvertently makes him mine. Blech.

"Really? What did you audition for Penny?" Leonard asks.

"Well, my agent called early this morning and he offered me an audition, for...guess..." I wait for a few seconds and they just look at me like deer in the headlights.

"Penny, there is no logical way we could guess what you are asking us to guess. The list of possibilities is practically endless." Sheldon says quickly, but oddly enough, not rudely. I didn't know he could do that.

Raj is nodding beside him, with his big doe eyes looking up at me.

I sigh, "Ok, ok. Well, I may be able to get the part in a movie about a video game that you guys might be interested in, but you can't tell anyone they are casting because they are trying to keep it under wraps that they are working on it for now, ok? Sheldon, do you think you can do that?"

We all look at him and he nods his head real serious like and I smile.

Leonard asks, "Well what is it? Now I need to know, you got us all curious."

I lean towards them, and they lean towards me as I whisper in a real hush-hush voice. "Ok, it's the Mass Effect movie."

It's as I am leaning back, I see Sheldon still leaning forward a little more than the others. His ice blue eyes are half lidded and have a look I have only seen on men who were thinking things I know Sheldon Cooper doesn't think. Jeesh, what is with him today? He is acting way weirder than normal. Maybe he's sick? Why do none of the guys seem to notice this?

"Oh! That's great, Penny! I love that video game series. You know they are just about to release the third one of the series in a month, and I think them making a movie is a great idea with the right actors and actresses," Leonard says very loudly and I give him my patented glare of death. This causes him to be quiet real quick like.

"Say it a little louder, Leonard. I don't think people in China heard you!" Howard whispers.

"Yes, Leonard, you were quite vocal on a subject Penny just emphasized the need for discretion on," Sheldon says with clear disapproval in his tone, turning Leonard's ears pink, and I'm just glad that for once it's not being voiced towards me.

"I can't say much more than that about it, but yeah that's it," I conclude with a blush.

"We are very happy for you Penny." This is written on a Cheesecake Factory napkin and pushed towards me by none other than Rajesh Koothrapali, and I blink away the tears in my eyes.

"Oh! Thank you, Raj! You're so sweet!" I want to hug him, but I know it would just make him have to go to the bathroom in nervousness and I don't want the guy to piss himself like some scared Chihuahua.

I sigh and know I need to ask their orders when I see my manager glaring at me from behind the counter and some of my other customers raising their hands signaling for their checks.

"What will you boys be having this evening? Sheldon, I already have your order written down, barbecue bacon cheeseburger, barbecue, bacon, and cheese on the side and a lemonade to drink."

Sheldon looks way more pleased with my sentence than I think he should be and as he is grinning up at me with that goofy smile, I can't help but grin at his antics.

"Well, I will have..."

And the night moves on. An hour passes after I have given the boys their food and I can see them about to ready themselves to leave for the evening. I envy them as I have another two hours stuck in this hell hole. Granted Anna is a bit of a reprieve from the brainless morons I have to serve, but she has her own tables and I am not about to get me or her chewed out by the boss again for not doing our jobs.

Most of my tables are content to be left alone for a while, so I indulge in some observing.

I see Howard with his idiotic dickie in place as usual and hair looking like his mother just got done brushing it.

Which she probably did, I think with a snort.

I see Raj in his vest and khaki pants—boy, that guy needs a makeover fast. He could be so cute even with the mutism if only he didn't look like he dressed in the dark.

Leonard, what can you say about Leonard that hasn't been said a million times alread? Wash your hair? Why, oh why, do you need a jacket hoodie in California where the average temperature is 85 degrees!

Finally, Sheldon, dear, sweet layered in this heat Sheldon. He makes me hot just looking at him.

It's as this thought crosses my mind that I realize how it sounds and I blush like nobody's business. Go figure, that this is the moment Sheldon turns his head to look straight at me. He sees me staring at him with my face looking like a tomato. I can't be sure, but I swear before I looked away from him he smirked and winked at me.

No, no no no! Sheldon Cooper doesn't wink, or smirk. Ever.

But he is. Right at me. He's still smirking. At me.

None of the other guys seem to notice as they are all ogling the newest waitress/model/actress to walk through the door, of which there are many.

Sheldon's gaze doesn't even flicker though. His head is canted to the side but there is no mistaking that he is looking right at me. He's staring at me like I am some sort of comic book, or…or I don't know what, but he's STILL staring at me. I turn around and act like I am doing something but peek over my shoulder as inconspicuously as I can.

What in the seven hells is going on?

I march over to their table and the guys all look over to me, and I can't believe anything can distract their attention from the way too skinny woman bending over way too far, for way too long.

I am determined to know what is going on with Sheldon.

"Sheldon, what's with the staring? The eyebrow? The eye...thing!" I thunder in a louder voice than I really meant to.

Oh God, please let the ground swallow me whole at the looks on their faces.

If there is one thing I am good at it is emotions and interpreting emotions. It's what makes me such a good actress, no matter what those casting people may say. It's this ability that lets me see the range of shock and fright that crosses their faces.

All but Sheldon's, but it's as I note this that his whole face changes, from smirking and humor, to looking like this shocked little bunny. It's like someone flipped a switch! What the fuck!

"What are you talking about Penny? I was just indicating to you that we were ready to pay. I do not know of what you are speaking of. I was just using non-verbal communication to indicate our readiness to depart the establishment," Sheldon says in a small voice.

Oh God. What if I'm wrong? I mean, his head wasn't angled toward me, he could have easily been staring off into space for all I know. What if I was seeing something that wasn't there? I get eye-fucked so much at this place maybe I am starting to see it when it's not there? Oh no, and I just yelled at Sheldon for my own issues.

"Yeah Penny, what in the world are you talking about?" Leonard asks in a weird voice. It's kinda a mix between someone strangling a cat and rocks in a blender.

"Oh, um, I don't know. I am so sorry Sheldon. I don't know what came over me. I guess I am just tired after this shift, and I, I don't know. I am so, so sorry Sheldon," I say this and I can barely look at them, especially with Sheldon looking at me like I had just killed his puppy for no reason.

I go to turn back around as the guys all look at each other in confusion over the crazy Penny, when I feel something on my thigh just under my skirt and look down. Huh?

Sheldon is touching about two inches above my knee?

What?

I look at his face and see him looking up at me like I am some sort of, I don't know, but he's got this glassy look in his eye like he's drunk or something. I start to wonder if one of the guys slipped him something in his drink and as I look around to see if any of them look suspicious or have anything they could have put into his food when I feel a squeeze on thigh. It is tight and it almost hurts, and I try to pull my leg away unnoticed but the long, spindly fingers are like a vice. I tug again lightly but it seems like he doesn't want to let go.

At this point I snap out of the shock that I am stuck in this spot and can't move unless I tug so hard that I fall or look like an idiot, and it registers that Sheldon is TOUCHING ME! No hand sanitizers, or handi wipes or Lysol. What, what, what?

Am I in one of those parallel universes the guys are always going on about?

Maybe I'm on Candid Camera? I look around for the cameras but can't see anything and the hand tightens again and it's really starting to hurt at this point so I look back down at Sheldon and the hand looses a little as I do. He's not looking at me but his eyes are dancing around the table like nothing is going on.

What shocks me more than anything is the fact that I like the tight, hot hand on my thigh. Sheldon Cooper was getting me wet by fondling my thigh underneath a table less than three feet from my ex-boyfriend and our friends. I feel my head go a little light as all the blood rushes to parts that haven't been filled in too long.

I have to stop this.

But oh, it feels so good.

My entire body feels like it has been dipped in lava, and the hand with it's long, long fingers is slowly, oh god why are you moving so slowly!, I scream in my head.

The long fingers seem to be able to reach everywhere at once, and the massaging is so good, I did not know that Sheldon knew how to do this.

It's when the hand reaches the tops of my thighs and stops that I squeak, what I will wonder about later is if the squeak is in distress over the hand on my thigh in the first place, or the fact that it stopped at all.

It's as this mousy noise escapes me that Leonard looks over and notices that it's been, like, five minutes and I am still standing in the same place.

"Penny? Is there something wrong? Are you ok?" Oh dear, for as annoying as Leonard is, he can be a good friend when he isn't being an ass.

Fortunately, from where he's sitting, he can't see under the table where Sheldon has my upper thigh prisoner, or, I flush guiltily, the wetness slowly moistening through a pair of the more conservative panties I am very glad I wore today.

I go to say that everything is fine, but I assume Sheldon might have thought I was going to say something else, when the hand tightens more than it has before and I can barely speak with how much it hurts. His nails are going to break the skin if he doesn't stop soon. My gaze shoots to Sheldon he narrows his eyes and a very tiny shake of his head tells me not to say anything to Leonard about the hand in possession of my leg, and if he goes just a few inches higher a WHOLE lot more.

I yank my leg as hard as I can without looking too suspicious and I stumble sideways and Leonard catches me before I can fall on the ground, while the rest of the guys are shocked at my 'sudden' almost fall.

"Oh jeez, I'm so clumsy. Thanks Leonard." I say this as sincerely as I can, because while we are both standing up Leonard won't let go of me. "Thanks, again. I'm fine now Leonard," I try to get him to let go and he finally does, shuffling his feet backwards.

"Ok, I have to go get your checks so you can go. I'll be right back." I don't give them a chance to respond before I am heading into the back and bracing myself on the wall, breathing deep to stop the swimming in my head. I look around to make sure there is noone around and I rub my inner thigh through my skirt. It will definitely be bruised and there's a lack of blood flow from the squeezing, it's tingly, and I don't know if the tingle is from the blood rushing back into it or from Sheldon actually touching me.

I OWN NOTHING, sadly :(


	4. Chapter 4

I want to say a couple of important notices for this chapter:

To start with we are going to start seeing a significantly darker, slightly more creepy and controlling Sheldon. 

Amy will be introduced soon (the original story did not include her, but let's face it, she is too funny!) She is known here through Bernadette who works with Penny, so the girls all know each other, but Amy hasn't met the boys yet and there will be NO SHAMY in this story). Bernadette and Howard are not together (they went on that date when Penny and Leonard were dating but they didn't hit off over their mothers like they did in the show), but Bernadette has met the boys, and how this works out, well, you'll just have to keep reading now won't you :)

Also I am doing so many flashbacks so early to show the development of Sheldon and Penny to display how they got to where they are right now in present time. 

As for reviews/kudos I wish some of you would, good, bad, or in between! I live for them.

On with the show.

Again reviews always welcome.

I own nothing.

Chapter 4

S-POV

When I was a child, I had next to nothing. Technically being the youngest will do that to a child. Though Missy and I germinated within the same womb, she exited before I did, thus the term 'technically'. Having Missy and George Jr. as older siblings did not help to say the least. Matters did not improve when you threw in the factor of my father, an alcoholic at the best of times and an emotionally and physically abusive bully at worst.

When I was 8, I was working on a project that I just so happened to need a test subject for. I decided one of Missy's dolls should be honored to be involved in a feat of science, so one day while Missy was at one of her female friend's house after school, I snuck into her room.

The thought of stealing has never sat well with me. Meemaw taught me that thieves were cowards and I was a brave knight and not a coward. Meemaw told me so it must be true. Meemaw also taught me that stealing was wrong and against the law, and I did not want to go to jail, but I needed a test subject for my experiment. Surely Meemaw would understand the necessity, for science. 

I need to get into Missy's room without Mother and Father catching me, which shouldn't be too much of a problem. Between Father's inebriated slumber and Mother's 'Bible time', which was really just where she went into the backyard and smoked her cigarettes or as Meemaw referred to them 'cancer sticks'. They should be out of the way for the most part.

George Jr. is at football practice, so he won't be a problem either, and if I believed luck was anything but hokum, I would say that I had it on my side. I stop at Missy's door and pause before I enter. I debate knocking. I want to, feel I need to, but I know that her room is empty and the odds of knocking and waking Father are too great to indulge my acknowledged idiosyncrasies, so I do not knock.

I enter the room as quietly as possible, and my eyes are immediately assaulted by pink and purple of all hues. It's at this point I determine that I must get out of this room as quickly as possible. I search through the dolls in the baskets first as they are the most accessible, but they are all plastic, not what I need for my experiment. I need porcelain, glass or china, and thanks to Mother, Missy has these lining the shelves. 

They are more expensive than the plastic and are the cause of me not getting the 'funding' for my experiment; even though George Jr. got new football equipment and Missy got to go on a school trip (but no money for Sheldon to get a new telescope).

It is as I am searching through these newer dolls and I note absently that they all seem to be brunette. Missy must prefer this. I don't really care, but I note everything around me and this fact does not go unnoticed no matter how little I care about the subject. It is like when Father speaks to me about football. I couldn't care less about football, but I can name you the entire list of statistics of the Dallas Cowboys and then some.

All of these dolls are adequate for my experiment's parameters and though I know I need to get out of the room quickly, I keep searching through the dolls. I feel as if I must pick the perfect one for my project, as I am the best, I should get to use the best equipment.

I see a flash of golden sunlight spilling over the back of the dresser. I see a doll hidden behind all the other dolls on its side. I carefully reach through the others and pick up the fallen doll and pull her into my body. I feel as if I cannot control myself as I look into this inanimate object's emerald green eyes as if it could see into the soul I don't really believe I have.

She was beautiful.

A golden haired fairy wearing an effervescent gown of sea green just a shade lighter than her eyes. 

Her face is so pretty. She has painted pink lips and the porcelain used on her must have been of the highest quality because she was so white she looked like she had been carved out of bone.

A pair of satin white gloves and socks adorns her hands and feet, I can see her socks through her little plastic Mary Jane shoes. Hair spills everywhere and it looks like honey and sunshine mixed together to form a halo, like in those pictures of angels Mother has all over the house.

I am hit by an admittedly irrational bout of rage at Missy for taking such a precious object and discarding it to the back of her dresser and leaving it lying there to get crushed or scratched. 

She could be dusty or dirty.

I have to clean her. Her. Yes. Her. This is not just some doll.

She is special and she is mine.

I hold the beautiful doll to my chest, and I realize I still need a doll for my experiment. The scientist in me notes that I am holding a perfectly usable doll in my arms, but the thought of anything happening to her makes me feel ill.

I don't like the feeling.

I grab another doll quickly, not caring which one I snatch. I only hope Missy doesn't notice two dolls missing. I don't think I can handle being held down while she 'wet willies' me again. 

I know Meemaw told her not to do it anymore after the first time I showed up on her doorstep in the middle of the night with a pipe cleaner sticking out of my ear, but I never know with such a temperamental female.

I cradle my golden fairy in my arms, being extra careful not to crush her wings, while the other dangles from one of my hands by its hair. I take both to my room. I know I cannot let anyone in the house know I have Her. My brother would break Her just to see me cry and Missy would pretend it was her favorite doll just so I would get that much more in trouble. Not just for stealing, but for stealing her favorite of anything. My mother would pray for my thieving soul and my father, I hypothesize, would slur some obscenities and tell me I was a 'faggot' and that only boys who were 'faggots' played with dolls.

But I don't want to play with Her.

I want to keep Her safe and secure, away from all of the George Jr.'s and Missy's of the world.

With me, she will be the safest she could be.

It is a few days when Missy finally notices one of her dolls is missing. My experiment was over and finished. I had not obtained the results I wanted but the information I had gathered was valuable, so not a total loss, and worth the lecture I got from Mother when I confessed to taking the doll. 

Missy never noticed the missing fairy doll and I never mentioned it.

I know that I will always wonder how Father found out.

A few weeks later, I come home from school later than usual as I had been discussing my schooling with one of my teachers. Summer was coming soon and I wanted to know if it were possible to be assigned summer classes. I wanted to learn as much as I could learn from this town and its few supposed intelligent individuals.

I see Father standing outside and I know something bad is about to happen.

His arms are crossed and he is leaning against his truck with a beer in one hand and a 'cancer stick' in the other.

I do not pick up on subtle facial cues well but even I know by the expression on Father's face that he is angry.

I walk up to him and he looks down at me. I only reach up to his navel right now, but I am only 8 years old and he is a tall man, odds are genetics will favor me later in life in this regard.

I tilt my head in a curious fashion. Most of the time in interacting with Father I use nonverbal communication as I have the feeling he does not enjoy the sound of my voice. Probably because I once heard him say, "Boy, I don' like tha sounda ur fuckin' voice! Shu' tha fuck up!" He then passed out, and I know he doesn't remember the encounter, but I do. I take the words to heart and I do not speak verbally to him as much as I can.

I really wish he would get on with this encounter. I am already late for brushing Shelly's hair. Yes, I named her Shelly. It's what my Meemaw calls me when she isn't calling me 'Moonpie' and I enjoy it even though it is a female name—only because it was Meemaw who used it.

I love to brush Shelly's hair. It's so soft and shiny and brushing it for her makes me feel like I have a purpose in the world. More than science, more than almost anything. I have a responsibility and it is to take care of Shelly to the best of my ability. That means I have to brush her hair, dust her, make sure her clothes are ironed and clean. 

I am aware that she is inanimate, and she doesn't have consciousness, but it makes no difference in the things I feel when I perform these actions for her. She doesn't berate me when I speak of my experiments. She doesn't laugh at me when I fold my clothes in just the right way. She doesn't tell me what a freak I am. She does not drink and tell me she wishes I had never been born.

She is perfect.

She is my best friend.

And Father is holding her in front of my face by her head.

His large grease stained hand nearly encompasses her head and I cringe to think that I will have to wash her very well to get all the grease and cigarette smoke he will infect her with. The cigarette butt is touching her face and I want to cry. He holds her very haphazardly and I want to tell him to not hold her like that. 

He is crushing her hair.

He is looking me in the eyes when I can see the flexing muscles in his large forearm, and I can predict the odds, and know how likely it is, what he is about to do. All this rolls through my head and still no words are spoken between us as I flick my eyes to Shelly, catching her eyes as the sun shines onto her. I believe I can see the fissures and cracks start to appear on her forehead from the pressure he is exerting on her head.

It sounds like a gunshot when I watch her head implode.

Porcelain flies everywhere and I can see blood dripping from Father's hand onto the ground which is littered with pieces of Shelly's head and hair the blood making it look like a small person has just been shot in the head.

Shelly's dead.

Father killed her; correction, George Cooper killed her.

He is no father of mine.

I tear my slowly watering eyes away from the broken body of the only being aside from my Meemaw who loves me, loved me.

He is still holding her body but not for long. He opens his bleeding hand and lets her body fall to the gravel drive, as more blood falls on her body staining the new purple dress I had bought for her just a week ago. 

I had spent a quarter of my saved currency to purchase the dress because I knew that it would look beautiful with her golden hair and green eyes.

It had.

Now it's stained with the blood of a being who didn't deserve to breathe on it let alone destroy it.

I glared as tears slowly make their way down my face from my tear ducts. 

He looks at me and says, "Only faggots play with dolls. Real men don't play with dolls."

It is so similar to what I believed he would say when I first found Shelly that I am momentarily startled and do not react for the next few minutes.

He bumps my shoulder as he passes me and I feel dirty in every place he touched me. I determine I must scrub those places especially hard in the shower that evening.

I can still feel the stinging in my eyes for what I imagine is an hour or so after he has pulled away, gravel spraying across my body and face. I feel if I move I will crumble as much as Shelly has.

My Shelly is gone.

I had felt the darkness of hatred flourish within me that day. Nurtured after that by every second I spent in that ignorant bastard's company.

After that day I refused to be left alone with my father in any capacity. My anger at the man was only surpassed by the fear I had of him. Fear of what he could do to me if he had no compunctions about destroying something so beautiful.

He did not seem to mind.

It was that day that I realized that I had to be able to protect anything I wanted to claim as my own, because there would always be those who don't understand wanting to take from me. I keep all of my most precious material possessions in a safe in my closet, my money is hidden in my figurines, and Penny is across the hall.

Penny.

She has been trying to avoid me since my last visit to the Cheesecake Factory over a week ago. She wasn't on shift this Tuesday so I did not eat there. I got my cheeseburger to go. I use the term 'trying' because her attempts haven't been very successful at it so far. This is mainly due to the fact that I know when she is coming and going thanks to the camera I set up in the living room of her apartment, and the camera out in the hall (thanks to Howard who never removed the one he set up to spy on Leonard and Penny when they were first dating).

When I am alone and I know Leonard will not be around for a while, I will play past recordings of Penny in her apartment just lounging around, or playing Age of Conan, anything. While I am working I will play these recordings and they comfort me with the illusion of Penny being in the apartment with me, doing her mundane everyday tasks and me working on solving the equations of the universe.

The future looks bright in these moments.

I will not let Penny avoid me though. She will have to get used to attention from me. Judging by her reaction to my first effort at physical—bordering sexual—contact between us, she has a long way to go. She is starting to get frustrated that her attempts to avoid me have failed, and it is cute. I inwardly cringe at my use of the word 'cute' but that is the only word that applies.

While everything about Penny interests me, and attracts me, it is her smile I love the most.

It's just like Shelly's smile.

I noticed it the first moment she smiled at me. She was a perfect replica of my golden fairy. All I wanted to do the first time smiled at me was gather her up into my lap and brush her hair. She is so delicate and innocent; I have to protect her, even from herself and especially from Leonard.

*Knock Knock Knock*

"Penny."

*Knock Knock Knock*

"Penny..."

*Knock Knock Knock*

"Penny..."

"I know you are in there Penny, please answer the door." I know she's in her apartment because I saw her on the camera. I gave her just enough time to get showered and dressed, but now she has to face me and she will listen to me. Now is the perfect time. She is off work for the next two days and Leonard is staying with Raj until tomorrow evening.

She opens the door and lets me in. My eyes are drawn to her ample bottom as I walk behind her.

"Sheldon what do you want? I'm getting ready to go meet some friends of mine. It's girls night."

"I won't take too much of your time, Penny, but I was hopeful that we could have some time together this evening as I currently have nothing pressing to accomplish, and I know you are free for the next two days. Though, if you are otherwise occupied this evening I will come back later when we can converse in length if you would like?"

If I know Penny, and I do, she will be too curious by the thought of me wanting to speak to her to deny me. I will use this curiosity to my advantage.

"What do you want to talk about Sheldon?"

She stops putting on her heels to look at me as she voices the question.

I knew it. Ha! I know my Penny so well.

"Wait a minute. How do you know that I have no work? Sheldon! Did you get my schedule from Anna again!"

"I believe the raised voice is a little unnecessary, Penny, but yes I did. Anna was quite cooperative in providing me with your schedule after I informed her if she did not consent I would show up during her shifts and she would be forced to wait on me. She was quite amenable to my terms after that."

I sit on the only clean part of the couch and cross my legs.

"Now, are we going to discuss last Tuesday or am I going to have to follow you on your 'girls night' to discuss it there. Your choice."

My little golden fairy

I smirk at the shock on Penny's face.


	5. Chapter 5

Scenes taken from Season 4 Episode 21 The Agreement Dissection, but with a few twists. Hahahahahaha!  
BEWARE: Leonard bashing. Just a heads up in case any of you are Leonard fans. Though if you are I dont know why you would be reading this. I am just too nice and feel I need to warn you I guess haha!  
Italics are flashbacks  
Bold is an emphasis  
I own nothing.  
Last Time on IMTA:  
"Now, are we going to discuss last Tuesday or am I going to have to follow you on your 'girls night' to discuss it there. Your choice."  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
P-POV  
Oh no. It's happened.   
Sheldon has finally snapped.  
I can only look at him in what I have to believe is idiotic shock after his words. With my mouth hanging open and my arms hanging down, I more than likely look like a cartoon character of some sort, and he's just sitting there looking like the cat that caught the canary.  
I shift on my three inch stilettos that cost way too much when I had way too little. I wish I was wearing anything other than the dress I am wearing. I feel naked with how he is looking at me and the barely there mini isn't helping. I turn my back so I don't have to see those ice blue eyes sizing me up. He’s not sizing me up like how most men size me up, all breasts and ass, but like he was looking at an equation he very badly wanted to solve, taking in every little thing, memorizing every part of me.  
It is too intense.  
I can't handle this.  
He is starting to freak me out, almost frighten me.  
I have to stop this.  
"I, I don't know what you’re talking about Sheldon, but listen...."  
"No."  
I stop mid-sentence at the confidently spoken word coming from behind me and sounding way closer than it should.  
I freeze looking at the fridge and all the photos stuck there with magnets that had cute little sayings on them as I see a very large shadow overtake my own, and I suddenly have a very real sense of foreboding. I jump as I feel large, hot hands settle on my bare shoulders and start rubbing.   
"If you insist on feigning ignorance on what I am trying to discuss with you, then I will speak and you will listen."  
I stand stiff while he continues to rub a little harder than before. It’s a little easier to listen to what he says when I don't have to look into those piercing eyes that see way too much.  
"I understand that last Tuesday may seem to be an abrupt paradigm shift in our social interaction to you, but I wanted you to know...."  
I understand.   
He has been using those words a lot.  
I don't know if he really does. I am insanely confused.  
He's got his lips right up against my ear and his breathing causes shivers that make my teeth chatter.  
"....that I expect you to get used to acts like this from now on, because we will be engaging in them quite frequently."   
I turn around quickly hoping to shock him into taking a step back, but it doesn't work. He doesn't drop his hands from my shoulders either.  
He is standing there tall and looking at me out of the bottoms of his eyes, and he has never looked taller or made me feel so small, despite the fact that I’m in such tall heels.  
I don't know if I like it or not.  
Sheldon Cooper is already so much larger than life, it isn't fair that he should be so tall as well.  
"What do you mean by that!? How did you even touch me last time? Aren't you afraid of getting sick? Germs? Is this a prank? Did Howard put you up to this?"  
I fire off the questions as fast as I can and hope that the reminder of germs and getting sick will kick start that big brain back into 'Whack-a-doodle' gear and make him act normal, as normal as Sheldon Cooper could ever be at any rate.  
His hands are still rubbing my shoulders and they are so much softer and warmer than I remember. It's getting harder to think about how wrong all of this was.  
His eyes soften into a look that I think is how a parent must look at a child that is taking too long to grasp something that should be easy. It's not quite pity but it's close enough to make my hackles rise.  
I am also starting to get a little panicked. I am definitely off kilter and it feels like I am balanced on the edge of a cliff, perched, just waiting for a gust of wind to knock me into the churning blue below.  
"Penny, you don't understand, but I want to help you to. This is me. I want you to know the real me. I would also appreciate it if you would not believe that Howard Wolowitz could ‘put me up’ to anything."  
There are lengths of my hair resting on my shoulders and he is rubbing them between his fingers like they are pieces of silk or something.  
"NO! Sheldon, you're right! I don't understand. You act a certain way for 5 years now and suddenly you’re acting some other way! What am I supposed to think? Unless you’re possessed by some sort of alien creature or parasite that has control of your brain! Oh God, that's not what's happening is it?"  
I try taking a step back to give myself some time to get my head back on straight and he lets me go. I use the term 'lets' because he tenses his hands briefly before sliding them down, trailing his fingertips to my elbows before dropping them back to his sides. It is obvious by the tensing of his hands he could have kept me where I was if he had wanted to.  
I shiver.  
He sighs as if he is put upon.  
"Penny, sit down."  
He says it so imperiously that I am reminded of my dad and I want to not do it just because of this fact, but I am so curious that I start moving after a pause. Though, I don't miss the flash of irritation in his eyes as I hesitate.  
I start to move some discarded clothes from my armchair, and Sheldon retakes his previous seat on the couch.   
There is a minute where we just sit and stare at each other.  
I sigh as I acknowledge that I need to get Sheldon to realize that he doesn't know what he's attempting to do here.  
He's confused and I need to help him navigate these unknown social waters.  
I stand up and start speaking and it sounds very loud in the quietness of my apartment even though I am speaking in my normal tone.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
S-POV  
This is not going the way I want it to, and that is highly frustrating.  
Penny is being stubborn, which is not surprising as I anticipated her surprised reaction, but what is frustrating is how she is treating me.  
Like I am a child.  
I understand that I can be child-ish, and that I enjoy things that children like.  
Action figures, superhero clothing, comic books, costumes, etc.   
What is the most frustrating thing is that my enjoyment of these things seems to have put Penny into the mind frame that I am a child, instead of just enjoying childish things. (Though, they indeed are not childish.)  
I am a 30 year old genius with an IQ of 187 and two PhDs and a Masters degree.  
I had more 'knowledge in my little pinkie', to use the common vernacular, at 15 than most 45 year olds in my field.  
It's about time that I help Penny realize this and to get her to stop treating me like a toddler.  
She's so lovely in that purple dress. Emerald green eyes flashing as she gets more and more worked up in her rant.  
She looks so much like Shelly did on that day.  
Purple dress  
Though that is where the similarities end on that front side, as Shelly never showed that much skin.   
Not that I am complaining.  
Unfettered blonde hair  
Shiny black shoes  
She's now going on about how I don't know what I am doing. That I am confused on how to display physical affection, so I am defaulting to sexual paradigms. She doesn't say it exactly like that, as she uses fewer syllables and speaks slower. I believe that she thinks that by speaking more slowly I will understand her better.  
Oh, Penny.  
Sitting here looking at her fidget in nervousness and watching the red flush from her face slowly creep further down was fascinating. She is getting more and more worked up and that is not helping that flush to stop.  
I sit here and listen to what she has to say, because after she is finished I also have things to say that she will listen to.  
The only difference is that what I say will have merit and be right.  
Now she is going on about our differences and if I let her get started on this we'll be here all night.  
I hate to interrupt her as I hate being interrupted, but at this point it is a necessary action.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
P-POV  
Look at him sitting there in his Flash t-shirt, blue thermal undershirt and blue and grey plaid pants.  
He's so innocent, and I let him know that I don't blame him for last Tuesday at all. I know he didn't mean it the way it could have been taken and I want him to know that I understand what he was attempting to say with his actions.  
He is my friend and he is Sheldon Cooper.  
While I am recently feeling a strange sexual attraction to 'Dr. Whack-a-doodle', I know that there can never be anything between us.  
I value our special friendship too much to allow anything to come between that.  
He just needs to understand this.  
I am probably his only real female friend ever and he doesn't really understand how to interact with a female like that. The only women in his life are his mother, Missy, neither of which he is particularly close to, and his Meemaw, who he obviously loves very much but who he doesn’t have all that much contact with outside of the letters that I found that one time in his room.  
So I understand that in his ignorance of the social interaction between males and females not related to each other he reached out to me.  
In a very erotic way, I think with a blush.   
I can't tell you how many times I have been laying in bed and thought about that touch slowly creeping up my thigh. Only this time the cleanest hands that have ever touched me do not stop at my upper thigh.  
It is all I can do to not look at his hands, resting so innocently on his knees, while he sits on my couch listening to me tell him about how inappropriate his actions were. I have been fantasizing about his hands on every part of my body every night for the last week.  
I am such a big hoe bag. A big ol' hypocritical hoe bag.  
But he doesn't need to know that.  
Standing here getting all worked up like some sort of nagging fishwife.  
I look at him and he looks the exact same as when I started speaking.  
"Are you even listening, Sheldon?"  
"Of course I am listening Penny, and I understand what you think you are saying...."  
Oh thank heavens he understands what I am....wait....'think I am saying'?  
"But, you are more wrong than you have been since our association has begun."  
Hell in a hand basket.  
"Wait, Sheldon..." This is my last ditch attempt to make him realize that he doesn't understand what he is doing by going down this route with me.   
He knows I am a 'big ol' five' and he most definitely isn't (though I don't know about that anymore). "...What about Leonard?"  
I believed that by bringing up his 'best friend' and my ex would give him a road block in his logic.  
I don't realize what a mistake this course of action is at the time.  
But as they say, 'Hindsight is 20/20.'  
I take a step back at the look Sheldon gives me.  
He looks like someone just told him he has to share the Nobel Prize or something.  
Oh, no.  
He stands up and starts to glide toward me. I use the term 'glide' because he's moving so fluidly that his steps aren't even making a noise. As he gets closer and closer I sit back down on the chair I had paced in front of while talking. It's when he puts his hands on the arms of the chair that I take a deep breath, and oh dear that was a mistake. He smells so good, like some strange mixture of soap, paper, and magic marker. I never knew something so odd could smell so good and he's looming over me like some kind of strange brightly colored vulture, just staring at me.  
I sink further into the chair and he keeps coming until his forehead touches mine.  
I gulp and his eyes follow movement of my throat and it's like the heat in his eyes have evaporated the moisture there because it's suddenly dry. He flickers his eyes back up to mine and I know he's leaning in for a kiss like I know I am going to take my next breath.  
He's so close I could lick my lips and have my tongue down his throat.  
I want to, I can't lie to myself about something like this, but the dark look that has entered his eyes scares me enough to not try.  
Sheldon Cooper, Dr. Whack-a-doodle is scaring me.  
"What about Leonard, Penny?"  
It's more of a growl than a tone of voice.  
*KNOCK KNOCK*  
"Bestie! It's Amy and Bernadette! Here for a rousing night of girl talk, pillow fights and inebriation!"  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
S-POV  
I can calculate the odds of almost any situation happening.  
It's one of the curses and virtues of being a genius and having an IQ not calculable by known testing. Also a reason I never say anything is 'impossible' just 'improbable'.  
But even I know that there is a difference in being able to calculate the odds of something happening and actually having it happen.  
I knew her bringing up Leonard was a situation very likely to happen, and why wouldn't it?  
He was her 'ex boyfriend' and my 'best friend' in her mind. I really need to put her information straight on that front: she is my best friend and I am hers. I am sure she would like to know this.  
Either way, in her mind we all are friends and any 'relationship' between us would alienate Leonard and our other friends.  
Who cares?  
We do not need them. They need us. They can get over it or leave us alone.  
We only need each other anyway.  
Another thing I need to educate Penny on.  
Just thinking about that time in her life with Leonard and their 'relationship' makes me cringe. Leonard is a worm and not worthy to lick his golden fairy's very fashionable and over priced stiletto heels. Though I am sure he would do so had she only bid him to.  
Another reason (as if he needed another one) as to why he was not a good mate for my Penny.  
He was weak, submissive, lactose intolerant, and only wants a woman to replace the mother he feels he deserved but never got.  
He is genetically inferior, and the opposite of everything I am.  
So when she actually says, "Wait, Sheldon...." I can tell you every possibility of what the next part of her sentence is going to be "....What about Leonard?" calculated in at about an 87 percent chance and that's exactly what happened.  
But knowing the odds does not help my reaction when it happens.  
what about Leonard...  
about Leonard.......  
Leonard.........  
Blacking out is a frightening experience. Not to say it has not happened to me before in times of great emotional and physical stress, or anger, but the next thing I know I am looking over Penny who is sunken down into her chair with me pressed against her forehead staring into her dilated eyes.  
"What about Leonard, Penny?"  
Fright and excitement pour off of her like an exotic perfume.  
She knows she doesn't need to be scared of me for her own safety, but by the look in her eyes, she is.   
This makes me sad.  
I would never hurt my fairy. My humanity in this torturous, humiliating, ignorant world.  
She is everything to me.  
Everything good in this reality is looking me right in the eyes—frightened.  
I won't stand for that.  
*KNOCK KNOCK*  
"Bestie! It's Amy and Bernadette! Here for a rousing night of girl talk, pillow fights and inebriation!"  
I stand up and take a step backwards allowing Penny to stand up. We are less than two inches away from each other and she goes to step around me to answer her door.  
I stop her with a hand on her shoulder.  
She is so soft and warm under my hands. I never want to stop touching her. This is in great contradiction to what I feel when I touch anybody else. Then I just feel as if I can't get clean enough, but with Penny it is as if once is never enough.  
She looks up at me, that frightened look gone and I sigh in relief, but I still need to say this.  
"Penny, I just want you to know that no matter what you do or say to me, I would never intentionally physically hurt you. Please believe me. I care for you, and you know me better than anybody. You know I would never hurt you. Please say you believe me."  
Penny sighs and says, "Yes Sheldon. I believe you...."   
I can't help but sigh in relief.  
"....but you are really starting to worry me with how you’re acting. You’re my friend and I care about that friendship greatly."  
"Penny, you have company so there is no way we can get into this as deeply as I would like to right now, but will you promise me that you will listen to me? We can discuss this and move forward?"  
I am not entirely certain she understands what I mean by 'move forward' when she nods to me that she agrees to talking later. I mean 'move forward' in our beginning the new relationship I plan on starting between us. I am sure she interpreted my 'move forward' to mean that we would get passed what happened this evening and last Tuesday and go back to being friends.   
I will not correct her if it means I will get her agreement to be alone with me again in the near future. If the content of this alone time is not exactly what she is expecting then all the better as to catch her off guard. Catching her off kilter will ensure a more profitable conversation for me as she will not have a good defense against us being together.  
She moves passed me after I let go of her shoulder to answer the door.  
Looking at Penny in that dress and her flushed countenance, I suddenly had the thought that she is going out with her friends, one of which I do not know.   
To dance.   
With other men.  
I narrow my eyes at her back.  
Unacceptable.  
*KNOCK KNOCK*  
"Penny? It's Bernadette, are you there?"


	6. Chapter 6

FINALLY Bernadette and Amy are here! lol  
As always   
Italics are flashbacks  
bold is emphasis  
Hope you enjoy!  
I own nothing.  
P-POV  
Ok, so we agreed to move on from this entire confusing debacle (another Sheldon word, thank you), and go back to being just friends.

I’m not sure if this makes me happy or disappointed but I do know it’s for the best. The other boys could not handle it if anything were to happen between me and Sheldon, especially Leonard. 

Not to mention if anything were to happen in the relationship, our friendship would be irreparable and Sheldon couldn’t handle that. After all, look at how he handled me and Leonard's breakup. 

It was ridiculous. 

In fact, it was his reaction that truly helped me to get over the whole breakup. Taking care of Sheldon during that time, like when me and Leonard argued and he ended up at the comic book shop in the middle of the night, was a great way of thinking through why Leonard and I were just not a good match. 

Sheldon helped on that front as well. 

During one of the rare moments I wasn't taking care of Sheldon because I was too sad over the breakup myself, to the point where I was considering getting back together with Leonard, he showed up and helped me to see the error of that train of thought. 

It was weird though, he showed up just at the moment I had brought the topic up to Bernadette over the phone, knock, knock, knocking on my door in his weird OCD way only super speeded up.

As soon as I had opened the door he told me he needed to speak to me in private. That was weird too because I wasn’t holding the phone when I answered the door. I had put it down near the couch.

It was like he knew I had been on the phone.

I had hung up with Bernadette and he had proceeded out of nowhere to go on about the pros and cons of getting back together with Leonard. It had really helped me see that there were really no pros to being in a romantic relationship with Leonard, and too many cons.

I thanked Sheldon afterwards, informing him that he had helped me from making a mistake and he had smiled at me like I had just offered him Leonard Nimoy's napkin again. 

It was sweet.

Then the weirdest thing of all happened.

I asked him why he had come over, how he had known to come over at just the right moment as to stop me from making that mistake.

He had automatically switched back to Sheldon-ese and just started talking and talking to the point I tuned him out and just thanked him and pushed him out the door.

I only realized later on that night laying in bed that he had never really provided me with an answer.

It didn't really matter though, I guess, just a nice coincidence.

So I guess I’m happy that this whole thing is over and we can go back to being as 'normal' as we can.

I sigh and smooth down my hair as I reach the door, hoping that I don't look as flustered as I feel. It's as I reach for the door knob that I feel hands in my hair from behind.

I breathe in so fast and hard that I get lightheaded for a moment. 

At least that's what I tell myself.

Hello, City of Denial. You're a pretty place to be!

The hands are up under my hair and are massaging my scalp. I close my eyes and my neck goes limp allowing the massaging fingers to do with my head what they will.

This thought snaps me out of it as I think of what else these hands could be directing my head to do, and I blush furiously at my dirty thoughts about giving the good Doctor head.

I can feel myself get hot in other places, too.   
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
S-POV  
I observe Penny at the door attempting to 'put herself together' after our charged conversation.

I see her smoothing her beautifully rumpled hair down and I cannot stand for that.

I move up behind her and I have never been happier with my large hands as when I see them sink into my Penny's golden hair and span the circumference of her head.

They cover her the way I want to cover her. I want to have her surrounded by me and me by her.

In all ways.

I can feel my erection growing.

It is quite cumbersome as I always seem to be in a constant state of erect around Penny, but I am also not usually so close to Penny or able to smell her so clearly or touch her so intimately if at all. It is quite a bit harder with all of the added stimuli.

I smirk as I realize I unintentionally made a 'dirty joke'.

I smirk wider as I realize Penny and her crude, yet effective, humor is rubbing off on me.

As I see Penny close her eyes and go limp under my massaging hands, it is not only her humor I would like to rub off on me.

I have never been with a female.

I have never had those urges before Penny.

She makes me want to tie her to my bed the way all of the villains tie up the damsels in distress to the train tracks.

I have always liked to view myself as the hero, but I have admitted something to myself: if it takes a villain to have Penny, then I villain I shall be. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
P-POV  
There goes my attempts to not look flustered. As the hands are leaving my hair, I can only imagine how messy my hair must look.

I reach up to smooth my hair back down and snap at Sheldon about what he thinks he's doing when I see his long arm come from behind me and reach for the doorknob.

NO!

I reach toward his hand to stop him but it's too late, and not until I am looking at a very shocked and embarrassed Bernadette and a curious and intrigued Amy in the face that I   
can imagine how we must look.

Me: red faced, hair mussed, dress rumpled.

Sheldon: rumpled shirt, which is as rumpled as he ever gets really.

But it's the hands that are the biggest indicator that something weird is going on.

They are clasped over the doorknob.

Bernadette has met Sheldon, and I have told Amy about him along with the rest of the guys. It's not hard for her I imagine to deduce that this is Sheldon, not only because she is   
also a genius with a Ph.D. but because he's the only one who is 6'2" tall.

They both notice the hands at the same time and both raise their eyebrows in the same fashion, and if I wasn't so frazzled I would have laughed at the sight.

Sheldon pulls his hand back and as he does so he rubs his fingertips along the back of my hand and I tremble just a bit.

I know what we look like.

We look like we just got done having hot monkey sex.

Oh God. 

That thought will follow me to bed tonight.

Hell in a hand basket.

"Penny? Can we come in? Sheldon? How are you today?" Bernadette’s squeaky voice is a soothing balm to my over wrought (Sheldon word 2!) nerves and I realize how rude I am being.

"Sure! Come in guys! I just need to freshen up and I'll get right with you guys! Go ahead and sit down, if you can find a place." I laugh as I say this last part, motioning to the extremely cluttered living room and get a double shock to see it not.

Not cluttered. 

Because Sheldon is picking up all of my clothes and dirty dishes.

Fuck.

Sheldon answers Bernadette, "I am just fine Bernadette, it has been an extremely productive day without Leonard and Howard around to distract me. How are you today?"

Bernadette looks at me and I shrug as I walk into the bedroom to freshen up my makeup.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
S-POV  
I hear Bernadette as she answers hesitantly, "I'm good Sheldon."

Her and the other person, Amy, sit down on the couch and look around as I continue to clean up Penny's apartment.

Neither of them tries conversing with me and for that I am grateful.

I have come here about twice a week while Penny was asleep and cleaned. She yelled at me the first couple times I did it, saying that it was creepy and that I was invading her privacy. When I just did not stop, she gave up and I have continued to clean every Monday night and Thursday night.

If I happen to lay next to her in bed while she sleeps and brush her hair with my hair brush while I am at it, well, I am not hurting anyone, and it makes her hair extra shiny and lustrous the next day.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
P-POV  
"Um, Penny, are you ready to go?"

I smooth down my dress, walk back into the living room and pick up my black leather clutch off of the now cutter-free side table. It's a little ironic that I would have spent at least 15 minutes looking for the clutch before Sheldon cleaned and I grabbed it in less than 10 seconds after he did. 

Maybe there's something to this cleaning thing, I think with a smile and watch Sheldon put the last of the dishes in the dish washer.

"Yeah I'm ready to go whenever you guys are!"

There's an awkward silence as we all stand and look at each other for about a minute, and I jolt as I realize I am being a little rude when I see Amy look at Sheldon with confusion and Sheldon looking at me with a blank face.

He speaks up, "Penny, why don't you introduce me to your friend?"

He walks up and stands beside me, waiting for me to introduce my friend. 

She nods her head and says briskly, "Yes, I am Amy Farrah Fowler, and you are Sheldon Cooper."

Sheldon nods his head once and says, "Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I am a theoretical physicist." He pauses and then says, "I am also Penny's best friend. As I heard you refer to Penny as your 'bestie', I can only infer that you believe that Penny is your best friend, and you hers. I must inform you that this is not the case, as Penny is my best friend."

I look over at Bernadette with wide eyes and she looks at me with equally wide eyes.

I see Amy narrow her eyes at Sheldon and she says, "Hmph, that is only your opinion, Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon, in turn, narrows his gaze at Amy and they are glaring at each other with me practically in the middle.

I see where this is headed quickly and I know I need to stop it.

I sit my clutch down on the back of the couch and clap my hands loudly. "SO! A night of dancing and fun! The night is young ladies. Let's get a move on!" I pick up my clutch again and start walking towards the door.

I open the door and look at Sheldon moving towards it with Amy and Bernadette already in the hall, "So Sheldon, I will see you later. I probably won't be back until way later so I don't know if I will see you until tomorrow."

He stops in front of me and smirks. "You will be seeing me right now, Penny..." His voice is low where the girls in the hall can't hear.

I look up at him confused and he looks at Bernadette with his face blank again. "....Ok, well, I guess I will just go to my apartment, alone, and spend my night, alone." He moves towards his door, his head low, with a slow stride.

What is he up to?

Bernadette stops him.

"Wait, Sheldon....would you like to come with us? I mean I can understand if you don't want to. We are going to be dancing and drinking a bit but you can come if you want to."

I had also thought about inviting Sheldon before what happened in my apartment, but I am not shocked that Bernadette would invite him. She has always had a soft spot for 

Sheldon, especially with the way Howard is always on his case. 

Bernadette does not like Howard, ever since that night where I set them up on a double date with me and Leonard. She said he was cute but that she got a 'super creepy vibe' off of   
him. 

The funniest thing about the whole situation is that she really likes Raj, but she knows that Raj and Howard are best friends and is very confused on what to do about it as Bernadette is not a 'home-wrecker'—her words, not mine.

I told her she should just go for Raj, that Howard would get over it, but then again I don't really care if he does or doesn't.

Raj and Bernadette would be so CUTE together!

As for Sheldon's invitation to come with us, I am all prepared for him to refuse in his crazy Sheldon way when I hear, "Why, that's very nice of you to offer, Bernadette. I would be honored to escort you ladies for a rousing night out on the town."

Huh?

I look at him and he is smiling slightly.

Then I remember what he just whispered to me, 'You will be seeing me right now, Penny...'

Is that what he meant? 

Did he just manipulate Bernadette into inviting him with us?

No, no.

Sheldon's not like that.

I think.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
S-POV  
Now I can go with my Penny to make sure that no miscreants attempt to bother her.

Just as I wanted.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
P-POV  
We make it to the bar just fine, except for Sheldon's complaining over us taking a cab, and him and Amy glaring at each other over my shoulders every five minutes.

He doesn’t want to take a cab, but I explain to him that anyone who can drive is going to have at least one drink this evening. I know how he feels about drinking and driving, so he gives in after that.

Now we are sitting at a table in a trendy little club, music not too loud but it definitely had a good beat, no one bothering us and they had some nice fruity little drinks.

They even had Sheldon's virgin Cuba Libres.

So when Bernadette had gone to pick our drinks up, I figured this was the perfect time to bring up what was quickly becoming one awkward stare down.

"So, why are you two all up in each other's craws?"

I directed my question to the two geniuses giving each other an icy stare from across the round table.

They continue to glare, not answering me.

"Ok, so this is about who my best friend is, and whose best friend I am, right?"

They nod.

Ok, what can I do to appease two crazy smart, crazy selfish people who do not like to share?

Wait, that's it!

I am a genius! Which is amusing considering the circumstances.

"I have a solution."

They both look at me with expectation.

"That's great Penny, now, just tell this odious female that I am your best friend and we can go back to the apartment and watch Doctor Who."

"Yes, please inform this presumptuously assuming male who your best friend is and we can get out on the dance floor with your beautifully muscled gams and cut a rug."

Sheldon shoots Amy an affronted look at her comment on my legs and I blush. Yes, I had become used to Amy's weird girl crush on me, though Bernadette still gets more than a little creeped out by some of the lesbian-ish things that Amy can say. Though I know the boys will be another story and Howard will more than likely have a field day with Amy's comments.

"Well, why can't you both be my best friends?"

The look at me as if I had just suggested blowing us all up.

Amy responds first, "Penny, the words best friend are a noun, which means 'the one friend who is closest to you'. The one. Now, I know you are smarter than you like a lot of   
people to believe, though I have no idea why, because you are radiantly auspicious and intelligent. You are a female of the highest order, so I know that you understand what that definition means."

Sheldon pipes up now. "Yes, Penny. As much as I disagree with everything Amy has said up until now this evening, I do agree with what she just said about you. You are much more intelligent that you would like us to believe though Lord knows why. So, this begs the question as to why you would say this when it goes against the very meaning of the term?"

Oh, I haven't even had one drink and I have a migraine.

"Ok, I get it. I’m smart and pretty. Thank you both for the compliments. Though, Sheldon, I didn't even know you knew how to give compliments to others."

At this I get a bit of Sheldon's glare, previously directed at Amy, and I smile sheepishly at him.

"What I mean though, is that you both are different genders, you can both be my best friends because of this. It is commonly accepted for a person to have a female best friend...." 

I gesture to Amy 

"And a male best friend...."

I gesture to Sheldon.

"Get it?"

They both look like they are thinking about what I just said and then they look at each other like they are having a conversation without words and maybe they are, because at almost the same time they nod.

Amy smiles at me and Sheldon.

"That is acceptable, Bestie. I would really like to be your only best friend, but as I do not possess the required genitalia to be your male best friend I will settle with being your only   
female best friend, and if you were to have anyone be your male best friend I have a feeling that Sheldon would be more acceptable than most of the other male friends of your acquaintance anyway."

I look shocked at the very long sentence that just came out of Amy's mouth, and Sheldon raises an eyebrow at me, seeming to say without words, 'Really?'

Then Sheldon, not being physically capable, I think, of not letting someone else get the last word says, "While Amy's grammar and sentence punctuation leaves much to be desired,   
I can't help but be inclined to agree with her. I am the best and most obvious male companion choice, especially out of any of your other male choices."

Bernadette brings our drinks and passes them out, her expression is more than a little confused at the sudden lack of glaring and hostility.

Amy turns to Sheldon and says, "Yes, while I have not made the acquaintance of the rest of Penny's male friends I have gathered enough information from Penny and Bernadette to formulate that while Raj is, to use Bernadette's words, 'a super cutie pie who I would like to climb like a tree'...."

Insert Bernadette blushing and stuttering furiously.

"....and as for Leonard and Howard I have heard from my bestie here that they are both 'pervy jerks who only think about one thing and that despite their big brains, I bet that that's about all that is big on Howard and definitely on Leonard' When she said this I assumed she meant their penises, and she clarified that yes Leonard's penis was quite subpar and even though she was glad she had never seen Howards' she believed due to his short stature that he would also have an equally substandard penis."

She just said penis so many times!

If anything Bernadette's blush got deeper and Sheldon was wavering between expressions of what looked like... humor and rage?

Oh, God. No Amy. 

"What, Bestie?"

Oh, apparently I said that last bit out loud.

Fuck.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Like I said I have taken some scenes out of The Agreement Dissection but I may or may not have also altered those scenes in a significant way. Have fun!  
We also get another peek into the darkness inside of Sheldon, and I have him speaking Korean. I don't know if he knows Korean in the show, but that's what fanfiction is for right! lol  
Also, I know alot of you have commented on Sheldon's OOC'ness, but I want you all to know that I want to draw a very Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde vibe for Sheldon's character. Now that's not to say that I am following that story in any way, shape, or form but I just wanted you all to know that while Sheldon is very OOC right now, he is still Sheldon and he is still Dr. Whack-A-Doodle. Have no fear.  
Enjoy!  
As always:  
Emphasis is bold  
Italics are thoughts  
I own nothing.  
P-POV  
Shortly after 'penis-gate'—as I will forever from now refer to that particular situation as—Sheldon went off to try and find a 'bathroom stall that won't kill me just from breathing its fumes', and I took my chance to try and explain to Amy why what she had said was so, oh I don't know.   
Wrong? Embarrassing? Funny?  
It was all these things and more, but we'll stick with embarrassing and wrong for right now.  
The funniest and most frustrating thing about the whole situation is that, for being a genius, Amy just really doesn't understand.  
But she promised to, and I quote, "Be more discreet about your friends' penis sizes in the future, bestie."  
We—meaning me and Bernadette—call the game of 'explain why certain comments are inappropriate in public to Amy' on account of Doctor Bat-Crap Crazy aka Sheldon returning to the table.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
S-POV  
Getting us to the dance hall was a hoot and a half if I do say so myself.  
The fact that it was a Korean dancehall was neither here nor there and actually a little better than an American dancehall in my humble opinion.  
There were a very small amount of people there who spoke English, and even less were of an age to feel the need to converse overly much.  
It helped that I was the only one of us to speak Korean, and it was with this in mind that I approached the older gentleman groping upon Penny who had been assigned his dance partner for a rousing salsa number.  
She was smiling but it was very strained and not really a smile at all, more a grimace of someone smelling something quite foul.  
I tapped the man on the shoulder.  
"선생님 실례합니다, 제발 아가씨의 손을를 제거합니다."   
("Excuse me sir, remove your hands from the lady please.")  
He responded quickly.  
"사과, 이건 너의 아내인가?"  
("I apologize, is this your wife?")  
Penny was looking back and forth between us as we spoke looking more and more confused.  
"Sheldon, you speak Korean? I thought you were learning Korean from Howard?"  
"No, Penny, I was learning Mandarin from Howard. I learned Korean in Germany at 13."  
She looks at me with a scrutinizing expression as if she is sizing me up. I guess it is interesting to her to learn something new about me after 5 years of knowing me, and it excites me greatly to know that there is so much more for her to learn.  
In fact, there is not much that excites me more than the thought of me teaching Penny about one of my favorite things (aside from her): ME.  
I turn my attention back to the Korean gentleman who has kindly stopped his very thorough inspection of Penny's luscious backside.  
"내 아내, 아니, 아직. 그래도 가까운 시일 내에 일어나는 것이 결국 계획."  
("Not my wife, no, not yet. I plan on this eventuality happening within the near future though.")  
"아, 내 어린 친구를 이해. 당신의 아름다운 여자 친구와 행운을 빕니다. 그녀는 매우 보물이며, 그녀는 그녀가 같은 강하고 능력 젊은 구혼자를 만난 건 큰 행운이다 알려주십시오."  
("Ahh, understood my young friend. Good luck with your beautiful lady friend. She is quite the treasure, and let her know she is very lucky to have such a strong and capable young suitor.")  
"제가 감사합니다."  
("I will, sir. Thank you.")  
With this, he bows to Penny in a very courtly manner and the music changes to a slow waltz. I take Penny into my arms, placing one hand on the lower curve of her luscious hip, her hand laced with mine, causing her to gasp in surprise at our close proximity.  
I take a deep smell of her hair as I pull her under my chin.  
She smells like mint and lemons.   
Citrusy and perfect.  
Our chests and hips line up nicely thanks to her ridiculous shoes.  
"What did you guys say to each other, Sheldon?"  
Her voice is barely above a whisper, but thanks to my superior hearing I did not miss a word. Her breath hot and sweet against the base of my throat.  
I swallow at the feel.  
I never want to miss a word of anything she has to say, no matter how nonsensical I find her words at times.  
"I quite politely asked him to release your buttocks from his grip as it was an occupied area and not a place for his hands to take up residence."  
She looks up at me with her eyes twinkling like the green Saturnalia lights Meemaw used to hang up outside her house.  
"Ahhhh, Sheldon, you stood up for my honor! That's so sweet! Thank you!” She pauses, before asking, "...Wait, what does that mean? That my hip is 'occupied'?"  
She blushes so prettily.   
"Well, Penny, it was the least I could do as you are my best friend and my future paramour. And I believe you know what I meant, Penny."  
We are in the middle of a turn when she stumbles slightly and I use my center of balance to keep her up. I use the momentum to keep up moving barely missing a step.  
"I think I know what that means Sheldon, but that can't be the case. You don't have a deal, remember?"  
Her eyes are so big and filled with confusion I cannot help but sigh.  
"Penny, I don't have a 'deal', I have you. I know this isn't the best place to discuss this and it would not be my preferred area either so I suggest we wait until we retire back to the apartment to finish this discussion."  
"That sounds good." Penny sighs gratefully.  
"Though I want you to know something, Penny...."  
"Yes, Sheldon?"  
"I am not a robot, I am not a child, and I am not a normal man, but I am a man, albeit an extraordinary one. A man who thinks the world of you, Penny, and I want us. More than you will ever know."  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
P-POV  
Wow.  
Just wow.  
I look up at Sheldon and his lips are so loose, not like normal where it’s in a harsh slash across his angular face, set in a disapproving line. Not this time.  
I have only ever heard him talk this passionate and driven when he is talking about his precious Nobel Prize.  
And now he sounds like that about me, and the idea of us.  
No one has ever said anything like this to me before, and he sounds so certain and sure.   
Unlike Leonard who always sounds as if he’s second guessing anything he says, as if he’s afraid of saying the wrong thing.  
You never have to worry about that with Sheldon, and I can see from intense light in his eyes as he is talking that I don't have to worry about that now.  
He is saying everything he feels.  
Feelings.  
I never really thought about Sheldon having them, and for me no less.  
Wow.  
I don't know what to think, especially with his warm hand squeezing my hip on every turn in the waltz we are still engaged in. It makes it pretty hard to think about anything other than wanting those eyes to see every part of me and those hands to explore every crevice.  
I glance around the brightly colored hall to see Amy dancing with an older gentleman, even older than the one that had been dancing with me just a minute ago. He is speaking nonstop it seems, not really caring that Amy doesn't understand a word that is coming out of his mouth.  
Bernadette is by the punch bowl with her cell phone out texting something to who I would hazard a very certain bet was Raj.  
Even though Bernadette was cautious about Raj because of his friendship with Howard, she was still into him and wanted contact with him, so they text every once in a while.  
Once in a while.  
HA!  
More like all the time.  
I barely see her without a blush on her face anymore, lit up by the light of her phone.  
I turn my attention back to the tall, skinny man hunched over me like a clam folding over a pearl.  
I jolt at that thought.  
I have never been a poetic person, despite my love of theater, scripts and acting. Poems never really hit it off with me.  
Sheldon brings out the poet in me apparently.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
S-POV  
Penny brings out the Neanderthal in me.  
Amy is sitting in the front seat next to the driver, while Penny sits between Bernadette and me.  
I can see over the driver's headrest to the rear view mirror and I notice him lifting his head every once in a while. I glance at what he could be jeopardizing our safety over and follow his line of sight to my Penny's bosoms.   
I flush in outrage. I can feel my face get red and my hands clench into themselves, my ears are ringing.  
My inner Hulk is screaming, 'HULK SMASH!'  
I need to calm down; I cannot let my emotions get the better of me right now. Penny does not need the stress, and I will not let this 'cabbie' be the cause of it.  
He is not worth it.  
I repeat this to myself in my Meemaw's voice as I slowly calm down.  
Amy and Bernadette are intoxicated so we stop by their apartments first and Penny helps them into get situated.  
I could care less, but Penny states that it is the job of the most sober girl that night to make sure her 'home girls' get home safe and sound.  
It is as Penny is helping Amy up the stairs to her apartment that the cab driver looks back at me between the seats, the car idling, and smiles and says, "Damn, that's one fine piece of ass you got there, son. I'd hit that faster than a freight train. She looks like a mighty fine time."  
He winks at me.  
"With whom are you making reference?" I make sure to keep my voice as calm and as unassuming as possible.   
It is a voice I often find myself implementing when having to deal with Leonard and Howard's idiocy.  
He looks at me like my father looked at me the first time I spoke Klingon at him.  
"The blonde of course, Petunia?"  
I strike fast and hard grabbing the man, if he can be called that, by the back of his head and gripping his thinning hair tightly. He puts up a fight, crying out and trying to pry my fist from his hair until I grab him by the jaw and stall any noise he might try to make.  
I do not need anyone interrupting what is about to happen, and I do not need Penny to hear this morons idiotic cries and telling me to stop doing what he so clearly deserves.  
I shake his head back and forth, just twice, and just hard enough to bring his eyes back to mine.  
I need to make sure he understands what I am about to say to him.  
"I am going to say something to you and you are going to listen, right?"  
He just looks at me so I slowly start to squeeze his jaw in just the right area to make it hurt the most without breaking it, but it will certainly feel as such. "Now, I am not going to repeat myself...."  
He nods his head slightly, which is all he can do with the grip I have on his skull, but it is enough for him to indicate that he is paying attention to me.  
"Good, now, I want you to understand something. If I so much as see you glancing at my Penny again, I will strap you to a gurney and perform a live autopsy just to see how long I can keep you alive while slowly removing each organ one at a time...."  
His eyes are watering and I do not care.  
"If I hear or see you disrespecting Penny the way you just did, whether to her face or not, I will scoop out your eyes, but I will make sure that they remain connected to your head and then I will stretch each of them out and slowly cut the nerves connecting your eyes with a scalpel...."  
He is shaking and I am more than certain by the scent in the car that the man has urinated on himself.  
Disgusting.  
"Now, Penny will be back at the cab in approximately 20 seconds. That should be enough time to get yourself together and not be a complete slob in the presence of a lady, and she is a lady. Right?"  
I squeeze his head and pull his hair just a bit more until he nods.  
"That's what I thought, now fix yourself up, wipe your face, and I believe it goes unsaid that Penny has no need to hear of this unpleasant interaction, correct?"  
He nods, and I let go of his head leaning back into my seat and take my portable bottle of hand sanitizer out of my pocket and squirt a generous amount onto both of my hands.  
The driver is wiping his eyes with a shaking hand while the other grips the steering wheel.  
I see Penny right on time heading back towards to cab, so I open the door and step out to hold the door open for her.  
She looks at me and smiles; with this smile I notice something about her.   
She is completely sober. I resolve to ask her about this as Penny is a notorious drinker. It makes me curious as to what has altered this behavior so drastically.  
I mean, yes, I have been altering her bottles of wine with a chemical I learned about on Google to make her more nauseous the more she drinks it, and this has affected the amount she drinks significantly and that makes me happy.  
I have never been pleased with Penny's drinking habits, and I have done something about it. However, I did not get a chance to alter Penny's drinks this evening, so how is she sober?  
I observed her drinking. She had at least two of those pink daiquiri drinks and they appeared quite large.  
I make a mental note to inquire about it at a different time, but I know the curiosity will eat at me until I ask.   
I know that I need to keep a clear head to counter any resistance Penny may have during our discussion when we get back to the apartment.  
She slides into the car and toward the opposite end of the vehicle.  
I do not think so, my dear.  
I sit down on my side and close the door.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
P-POV  
Sheldon is getting into the car and I look up into the front. As Sheldon closes the door I see the driver jump like he's just seen a ghost, and Sheldon is glaring at the driver like he's just insulted his Meemaw.  
What is going on?  
"Are you ok, sir?" I ask the driver who is curiously silent.   
He had been downright chatty with us until now, and now he is shut up tighter than a bear trap.  
"I am sure the driver is just fine Penny, is that not right, sir?"  
Sheldon's face is a mask, and says this in his normal Sheldon way but I have the distinct feeling that the driver is upset about something. I glance forward at the man in front and I swear I see him wipe his eyes, like he had been crying, before starting up the car.  
I jump as I feel something hot land on my thigh to the point where the dress rides up, so it’s straight skin to skin with Sheldon's hand.  
He tugs at me until he pulls me up to his side of the car by my thigh, and by his side of the car I mean right up against him.  
No leaving room for Jesus between us right now.  
Just Penny and Sheldon, and any closer we would absorb into each other like those microbe-things Leonard showed me through a microscope once.  
He tightens his hand and it is so very similar to The Cheesecake Factory incident that I automatically flush and become aroused even though his hand doesn't leave its position at mid thigh.  
He just rubs his soft thumb back and forth along my inner thigh in this pattern.  
Back. Forth. Back. Forth. Back. Forth.....Back......Forth........Back.  
He pauses with his thumb closer to the inner part of where my legs meet.   
Not quite there.  
Not close enough to make contact, but just close enough to make me shiver.  
The tease.   
I decide a little payback is in order.  
I lean up just a bit, and breathe lightly into his ear and say breathily, "You're messing with forces beyond your ken, Sheldon." I place my hand right above his knee and rub my thumb along the outside of his plaid pants along his warm, muscular thigh.  
Whoa.  
I can feel him tense up and dig his nails into my leg but not enough to hurt—more like I just surprised him.  
I inhale as I lean back, my hand and his still in their places against the others leg.  
Thumbs rubbing against skin and pants.  
"Hey...what's that smell?"  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
S-POV  
When Penny inquires about the driver I get angry.  
I want to do all of the things that I promised I would do just 10 minutes ago, and while Penny is peering at his face from the side I look into the rear view mirror.  
With my eyes, I promise him this course of action will come to pass unless he cleans himself up and ceases to worry Penny.  
She has no need to worry over such a disrespectful pervert.  
If I did not view Howard Wolowitz with the barest semblance of friendship he would be dead 50 times over with some of the things he says to Penny.  
This man is not my friend.  
He wipes his eyes and informs Penny that all is well.  
Good man.  
I have never imagined myself using sexual wiles to distract Penny, but I am better at it than I could imagine.  
Not to mention Penny being so much more responsive to me physically in a manner that I could have only ever hoped for.  
She is so beautiful and smart, everything I could want in a mate, and if there was anything Leonard has ever said that was even slightly intelligent it was:  
"Our babies will be smart and beautiful."  
Only those hypothetical babies will not belong to him, as neither will Penny.  
Penny and those babies will—and already do—belong to me.  
I have been aroused by Penny since the first moment of laying eyes upon her figure, and after 5 years that reaction has not lessened in the least.  
It is a wondrous feeling, only comparable I imagine, to winning the Nobel Prize, when Penny places her hand upon my leg, her breath hot and sweet in my ear.  
I know that she believes she is playing with me by performing these actions as she somehow believes I am playing with her.  
I have never been more anxious to prove anyone wrong before.  
I have never had cause to become giddy before but in contemplating our return to the apartment that is the only feeling I can compare it to.  
It will be the moment I have been working and moving my way towards with Penny since meeting her.  
The beginning of a new life.  
A life with Penny.  
"Hey....what's that smell?"  
Penny's face is scrunched up and she waves her free hand under her nose.  
There is no time for a response from the driver as we pull up outside of the apartment.  
I direct Penny out of the cab with a hand placed proprietarily on her lower back right above her 'Soup' tattoo.  
"Hold up Sheldon, I have to pay the fare."  
"No, Penny, as the escorting gentleman it is my job to take care of such necessities."  
"Yeah, but, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't even be out here."  
"I agreed to come at Bernadette's invitation, and in accepting said invitation I accepted all obligations that came with the invitation. Now, Penny, go unlock the apartment and I will pay the driver."  
She just huffs and heads up the stairs.  
After 5 years she has finally learned when to pick her battles with me.  
Smart girl.  
I look down at the man with what I know are my 'mean eyes'.  
Meemaw used to say that I could scare an opossum into playing dead when I get in this state.  
I hope she was right.  
"I trust that due to your disrespect of the lady that we will not have to continue this unfortunate discourse?"  
He just looks up at me like a cow, all big watery eyes and confusion.  
"Huh?"  
I sigh and roll my eyes.  
Looks like I will have to dumb this down just a bit.  
"You were rude to me about Penny. I defended her and my honor, therefore we have nothing more to discuss about this incident. Yes?"  
I say this as I hand over the amount of money indicated on the meter and the non-optional socially accepted tip for services rendered.  
"Look, man, I don't give a fuck what you do. Just know that if I ever see you or your 'lady' again, I will not pick you up and it will definitely be way too fucking soon for me you psycho motherfucker."  
Between the cursing and mangled English I interpret that he is saying that he will not seek legal recourse as long as he never sees me or Penny again.  
I do not care for how he says 'lady' or for him referring to me engaging in coitus with my mother but I am getting what I want and do not press my 'luck'.  
I have learned a few things from Penny as well over the years.  
"Your terms are acceptable."  
"What the fuck ever, crazy bastard."  
And he drives away.  
As soon as he is out of sight, which does not take long as he is driving way too fast for our street, the abhorrent man is out of my thoughts and not worth pondering on in the first place.  
I turn toward the apartment.  
One of the only people on my very short list of things and people in my life worth my pondering is sitting in my apartment right now.  
Waiting for me.  
Well.  
I start towards the apartment with determination in my every movement forward.  
Never let it be said that Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper ever left his Penny waiting.  
I go to her, as I always will, and nothing will stand in my way.


End file.
